In the beginning...So here goes nothing. First of all, I want to start out by thanking each and every one of you for all your support and love as Bryan and I begin this journey. Bryan and I were married on a rainy Saturday in December of 2009. It was the happiest day of my life and I could not wait to start my life with him. I knew that God had saved me just for me and him for me! He was and is everything that I prayed for in a spouse for so long and God answered that prayer. I say that because I know that God answers prayers...however, I sometimes feel he has “muted” me when it comes to my prayer to have a baby. I know that is not the case and his timing is not always our timing. My good friend, Katie Bigby told me once while I was venting that our dream wasn’t happening as quickly as we thought it should and she says “Miranda, you know our God doesn’t wear a watch”. That is so very true and I find myself telling others that during there times of “waiting”, but when it’s happening to you and your dream isn’t coming true, you tend to ignore your own advice and say “come on, God, I want it now”!
So, Bryan and I started “trying” not long after we got married and when I say “trying” I mean we weren’t doing anything to prevent it. Yeah, Bryan was still in school and we were newlyweds but I knew I wasn’t getting any younger (I was 30 years old at this point....almost 31) and that soon my eggs would be “deviled” and ready to be “pickled in a jar with some vinegar”. Apparently, I offended these said eggs because thats exactly what they did!! So, Bryan and I did everything people say...take your temp, throw your legs in the air after “homework” (that will the term I use for intercourse) just so we are clear. Anyways, pee on a stick, use these cups after “homework” to keep everything contained and right where it needs to be as my pickled egg made its way to the homeland! Well, none of that worked.
So, I consulted with my OBGYN and we did a few procedures and some testing through her practice so that insurance would pick up some of the costs (we had no fertility benefits). Bryan did his “deed” as well and all swimmers assumed the proper position and were all swimming upstream. There were a few abnormalities with me but nothing earth shattering....or so we thought.
The above mentioned was all done between 2010-2011. We decided we were tired of tests and “we aren’t sure why you can’t conceive” blah blah blah.
So here we are 2013...THE YEAR OF THE AYER BABY!!
January 31, 2013...The day that changed everything...
The day came for our appointment with the fertility specialists. The meeting started out very positive with the review of our previous testing, small chit chat, blah blah blah. The doctor then decided he wanted to do an ultrasound to get a idea of what he was dealing with..."plumbing and real estate wise". Well that's where it went south...literally and figuratively. We were informed that I had pretty significant endometriosis which had scarred my ovaries. What does that mean? Well, remember earlier when I talked about how I joked that I would be all "dried up" and "pickled"? Yeah, I am dried up and pickled. My ovaries that is....so what if any eggs that I had would not be useful to producing a baby. My uterus, however, appeared to look fine with the exception of a fibroid which the MD didn't feel would pose any problems. So I can't build the baby but I possibly have the real estate where it can reside for 9 months? Fabulous...what's next then doc??
Well, the doc was nice and honest with us...told us our only option would be to do In Vitro using donor eggs. Well, this is not what we signed up for when we walked through those double doors but for some reason this is the cards we are dealt.
So we then meet with a nurse and financial consultant to discuss options, etc. Most of those conversations were a blur for the days that followed but the fog has since cleared and we have decided this is the journey we are on and are buckled up and ready for the ride! Fortunately for Bryan and I, we have very supportive and understanding work families that shared in our heartache the day after our appointment and after seeing how "well put together" we both were decided to send us home so that we could be with each other as we continued to try to understand what we had been told. And also in a way to mourn our child that we had not conceived yet.
We are now going into 3 weeks since the day that changed everything. Bryan has completed his preliminary testing, I have my appt. next week (more on that on next post), and finances are tentatively available (more of that to come on next post too), and donor has been selected (yep, you got it...more of that to come too).
I didn't want to overwhelm with our first post with everything so we are taking "baby steps" lol starting this blog. That and the fact I have never done this before should make these blog posts clear as mud!!
So until next time.
In his love,
Miranda
so excited to see what God does!
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