Really God??

February 20, 2013  Really God?

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

You know the saying "when it rains, it pours"?  Yeah, well, I feel as if we are in the middle of a MONSOON and my umbrella is broken!!

So we had more testing today with Dr. Schnorr....well I had more testing...me and "Virginia" (that's what I'm going to name my plumbing and lady parts).  So the testing consisted of a trial transfer and an HSG test.  The trial transfer is basically a dress rehearsal for the actual embryo transfer and the HSG test is when they insert dye into virginia to make sure that my fallopian tubes and uterus all are behaving themselves.  The trial transfer went very well...the catheter passed without any difficulty and really wasn't uncomfortable.  Now time for HSG test.  Now I had this same procedure 2 years ago and it was normal so was thinking "oh, no biggie, it will fine this time too and we can keep trucking along".  WRONGIE DONGIE!!  This was more uncomfortable that I remember and after we were done I knew why.  One of my tubes is blocked!  Well, that's just fabulous!!  You might ask, well what difference does that make, your plumbing doesn't work anyways, why do you need your tubes to be open?  Well, apparently our tubes produce this mucous similar to "saliva" (docs words not mine) and if the tubes are blocked, it can spill over into uterus preventing implantation of embryo.  Greeeeaaattt!!!

When the doc told me what it showed and the only way to fix it was laparoscopic surgery, I thought I was going to fall off the table.  My body suddenly went numb and I felt as if I was going to pass out.  This cannot be happening I thought.  You have got to be kidding me.  Really God?  I don't know if I can handle this.  Is all this going to be worth it in the end?  Are we going to get our dream?  There were a million things running through my mind.  I don't really remember walking back to where Bryan was and back to the MD office.  That is all a blur.

So we go back to meet with doc again so we can get low down and what all this means and where we go from here.  He explains everything...tells us that our pregnancy rate is very low with IVF if we don't fix this.  Also, the IVF program, ATTAIN,  that we are trying to get approved for will not approve us until this is fixed.  Ok...so we fix it I guess.  Will insurance pay for it?  Doc tells us he has surgery date available March 12.  Meanwhile, insurance gals are checking into preauthorization and thankfully, insurance will pay for it.  Well, finally, some good news I suppose.  So doc explained that surgery would open up tube or he can just take it out altogether.  Ha, it's not like I need it anyways, right?  


So surgery for me it is...

It is an outpatient procedure done laparoscopic which means I will just have a few little puncture sites in my belly.  The recovery time is a couple days which is good.  I have never had any surgery to speak of so I'm a little nervous but my dream of being a Mommy is way bigger than my fear!!  I am so very fortunate, though, that I work with a FABULOUS office and a great group of gals!  My bosses are so very understanding of our journey and are being very helpful during this difficult time for us.  They will never know what their love and support is meaning to us right now. 

So, surgery is scheduled for March 12.  Doc is confident that we will be successful once this is taken care of.  We have to wait 2 months after surgery to begin first IVF cycle so in the grand scheme of things we are still on track time wise.  Just ran into a little hurdle.

We continue to appreciate and covet all your prayers as we chase our dream and continue this journey.  I will continue to update as I can!  Just continue the prayers that the surgery will go well, that our journey will go smoothly from here on out.  Also, we ask that you pray for our egg donor as we do everyday.  Pray for her, her body, her family, and her willingness to give such a wonderful and selfless gift so that couples like Bryan and I can be Mommy and Daddy. 

We love you all!  

Until next  time.

In his love and with his guidance,
Miranda